9 Sep

Gizmodo– Here’s how the app works. After signing in with your phone number, the app splits users into two groups: Sleepyheads and Wakies. Sleepyheads are the slumbering people who need waking, and Wakies are the users tasked with getting the job done. After that, it’s similar to your standard hotel room wakeup service, except for one key difference. According to The Next Web, Wakie tries to pair you with a caller around your age and of the opposite gender, turning your first early morning moments into some bizarre, heterosexual dating game.

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I think this app is a horrible idea. Maybe the worst. I mean, in a perfect world it sounds great. Getting woken up by a phone call from a hot girl, chatting for a minute, then hopping out of bed and starting the day? Sign me up. But in reality, unless I’m mistaken, there’s no incentive to be a “wakie” and therefore nobody will do it besides weirdos. That eliminates all hot girls because they don’t do nice things, especially not for free. My guess is that there are zero good-looking girls waking people up on this thing and about a million ugly ones and catfish for days.

And while waking up by a certain time isn’t a big part of my life these days, it certainly still is for others. You think it’s a good idea to trust another human being — a stranger that faces no repercussions if they fail — to wake you up when you can’t even trust yourself? Probably not. And what if your “wakie” is also a “sleepyhead” and is relying on a different “wakie” to wake them up? It could go on and on like that, wakies relying on other wakies, and one fuck up anywhere down the line and you end up oversleeping. I’m pretty sure your teacher or boss isn’t gonna give a shit about all the wakie/sleepyhead mumbo jumbo. Nope. You’re fired. You fail. Game over.

That being said, I’m a firm believer in the “don’t knock it ’til you try it” mantra, and will be giving it a shot once it’s available on the iPhone. Let’s just say my expectations aren’t high.  Stay tuned…

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