14 Aug

Here’s a public service announcement for all you mouth-breathing ingrates.  When attempting to use humorous slang for old-fashioned white underwear for men, it’s not “whitey-tighties,” it’s “tighty-whiteys.”  Always has been, always will be.  This type of laziness, inattention, and butchering of the English language drives mature wordsmiths like me and scross bananas.  People who say whitey-tighties are on the same deplorable level as people who refer to Barnes and Noble as Barnes and Nobles, Target as Targets, or Chipotle (chi-pote-lay) as Chipolte (chi-pole-tay).  Absolutely shameful.  Also, thank god we have evolved from tighty-whiteys to boxers and boxer-briefs.  Who came up with the idea for tighty-whiteys in the first place and who okayed it?  Why aren’t they black or brown?  Anytime you have a tight white cloth jammed up a man’s ass you are asking for disaster.





  1. Anonymous August 14, 2014 at 12:13 pm #

    I peppered my whites with shit slicks for years. Around 1991 I was introduced to black boxer briefs and eliminated what I called “the shit slick blues” forever. Where were they for the first 31 years of my life?


  2. SpunkDaddyAssGod August 14, 2014 at 1:58 pm #

    I’m so ashamed. I wore tighty whities to work today and after a stressful morning conference call I had gazpacho spatter all across my fanny basin.


  3. Mikeytheassrammer August 14, 2014 at 3:41 pm #

    I was reaching over this morning with a shoe horn to fix my shoes and a blast of kaka snuck out my pucker hole and splattered the seat of my underpants. If I was wearing black this wouldn’t have been an issue but the dastardly streak of feces was very visible for my wife to find when she does the laundry.


  4. Anonymous August 14, 2014 at 4:06 pm #

    I was standing next to my friend at the urinal and I thought it would be in good taste to slide a fart out of my ass for our listening enjoyment. To my dismay the fart was wet as fuck and I soiled my white underwear.


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