1 Aug

ESPN – The PGA Tour has suspended Dustin Johnson for six months after he tested positive for cocaine, according to a report on Golf.com.

Citing a source, Golf.com reported that Johnson has failed three drug tests — two for cocaine (in 2014 and 2012) and one for marijuana (2009).

Johnson, 30, was suspended for the 2012 failed test, Golf.com reported, but that suspension was never made public. Under its guidelines, the PGA Tour is not required to announce any disciplinary actions against players who test positive for recreational drugs.

Johnson announced Thursday that he was taking a leave of absence from competition, effective immediately, for “personal challenges.”

“I will use this time to seek professional help for personal challenges I have faced,” he said in a statement issued by his management company. “By committing the time and resources necessary to improve my mental health, physical well-being and emotional foundation, I am confident that I will be better equipped to fulfill my potential and become a consistent champion.”


Obviously when he came out with the statement on Thursday about the leave of absence for “personal challenges” there was a lot of media speculation.  To me there was never any doubt that it was cocaine-related.  Had I been free to blog at the time I would’ve made this known but alas, I was entertaining a European love interest of mine around NYC.  Needless to say, sometimes there are more important things in life than writing about famous people doing drugs.

It’s also worth noting that I wouldn’t have simply been speculating on cocaine being the root of Johnson’s woes.  A friend of my mine, being not unfamiliar with the way cocaine smells himself, went to Coastal Carolina with Dusty.  I believe it goes something like this when I ask him about Johnson in college.  “Dude, that guy did so much fucking blow it’s insane.  I did it with him multiple times and just couldn’t keep up.”

In my opinion, cocaine and golf are the drug/athletic equivalent of Israel and Palestine.  Opposite as fuck.  Will absolutely never see eye to eye.  The fact that he’s been playing at such a high level on the booger sugar for probably like a decade is otherworldly.  There’s a legit psychological theory that if you take something for practice, you should take it when it’s time to perform if you want to be at your peak.  Like if you study on adderall, you gotta take it before the big test too.  If you smoke tons of weed when you’re at home playing guitar, you better get high before your first gig in public or you’ll blow it.  To this end, there’s no question in my mind that DJ was blowing down before all rounds of golf.  It’s just who he was.  Ask any habitual drug user and they’ll tell you it’s when they’re off their drug of choice that they typically experience averse effects.  The drug becomes their body’s new definition of sober.

It’s going to be a tough road for him at this point for sure.  My guess is he’s been doing it with enough frequency that he doesn’t just associate certain activities with cocaine, he associates it with life.  I mean coke’s in your system for what? 3 days tops?  Plus these guys always somehow get a heads up that a drug test is on the horizon. To test positive multiple times would lead me to believe that it was literally never not in his system.

Six months is probably a sufficient amount of time to rewire his brain and kick the habit, but it’s actually possible — as backwards as it may sound to the non coke-addict — that the drug actually had performance-enhancing effects on his golf game.  Because as I said, if he was doing as much as I think he was, it would’ve been when he wasn’t high that he experienced the likes of jitters, uneasiness, and general other forms of discomfort.

To me, the whole situation is very reminiscent of Tiger’s downfall from dominance in 2009.  Being a role-model with the family-man facade, all the while fucking strange women and peeing on their faces, was Tiger’s drug of choice.  He couldn’t get enough. There’s no question that while others were on the range and putting green prior to tournaments, Woods was balls deep in some whore and relishing every second of it.  A unique pre-game warm-up no doubt, but one that yielded supernatural results.  But since late ’09, when we all became too familiar with Tiger’s rampant sexual deviancy, he’s never been the same.  Not even close.  Sure he’s kicked the habit (so we think) but the golf never returned and is looking more and more like it never will.


So all I have to say is this.  Dustin, if you actually want to clean your life up and stop doing coke then more power to you.  I wish you all the best.  But if you’re only taking this leave to “improve your mental health, physical well-being and emotional foundation” because you got caught, then don’t fucking give in to the man. Get a better guy on the inside to give you the heads-up when the drug tests are on the way and you’re all set.  I wish I could say the same for Tiger though.  I can’t because I don’t condone extra-marital sex.  He’s just fucked.

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