IRON WEASEL

14 Jul

Somewhere, Lou Gehrig is rolling in his grave.

Recent reports out of Baltimore have confirmed Cal Ripken Jr.’s legendary consecutive games played streak was fraudulent.

2kfresh cal ripkin

It appears the Iron Man was made of paper mache……..and doo doo.

A source close to the Orioles said:

From 1987-1993 Cal battled the worst case of irritable bowel syndrome I’ve ever seen.  During that time he was missing anywhere from 5-35 games a season.  Some days Cal would wear diapers around the clubhouse because the ring on his ass from the toilet seat caused excruciating pain.  He was very concerned about his image and he really valued the opinion of the fans.  So he arranged for his cousin, Maurice, a washed up third basemen who’d spent time in the minors, to play for him.  Orioles games were rarely televised and besides, this was before HDTV.  It didn’t hurt that Cal Sr. was on the coaching staff.  Mo would appear just prior to the first pitch, keep his mouth shut, take a few cuts, and then disappear following the game.  Cal’s career batting average could easily be fifteen points higher.  Mo was a miserable batter.

Looks like it’s time for Cooperstown to dole out another asterisk.  This weasel took us all for a ride.

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