ROUSEY V. DAVIS: THE TALE OF THE TAPE

7 Jul
Ronda Rousey is tough, this we know. I won’t bore you with analysis of her performance on Saturday.The real story was the promise her opponent, Alexis Davis, showed. Her 16 second loss was the most solid of its kind in a long time. When the match started, Davis looked ready but Rousey looked excellent. Her breasts were tightly pressed together, her butt firm and moist. She had a confidence I typically despise in women but as the bell rang, I pictured myself slowly spreading her butt cheeks. I imagined pushing my nose gently into her bum before I latched on to her labia gingerly with my teeth. Because of this, I missed the fight. Fortunately, I was able to review the film footage and what I saw was beautiful. Let’s break it down.

At the 3 second mark, Davis realizes she’s outgunned and I truly believe a turd falls out of her ass. Rousey, aware of this, gains the mental edge. Despite the humiliation, Davis manages to carry on. This display of perseverance and gritty determination are some of the many intangibles that will surely earn her a title rematch.

9 seconds into the video, Joe Rogan announces the “good jab” that Davis lands. This jarring left would typically spell trouble for her opponents. Unfortunately for the challenger, Rousey was unaffected. A seemingly unlucky turning point in the fight.

Perhaps the greatest display of physical prowess by either combatant occurred at the 16 second mark when Davis somehow willed her nose to maintain its convexity as the blows came raining in. The punches, hell bent on dislodging bone and flesh, devastated the contenders face. Davis obdurately withstood the punishment, her face and her spirit somehow maintaining its natural form.

After the fight, prominent sports writer Herb Steinboch had this to say: “Muhammad Ali’s second greatest attribute was his ability to take a punch. He wore his opponents out as he absorbed their punishment. It appears Davis borrowed from the legendary pugilist. Unfortunately, for Davis and Ali, the rope a dope has left them battered today. The idea was brilliant, she showed a lot of creativity. It was her execution that was poor and she definitely got unlucky.” He went on to say “When Rousey saw the turd fall, the match was essentially over.”

Davis’ most beautiful moment came between 16 and 19 seconds. The referee calls the fight and Davis, like winners do, refused to quit. She can be seen grabbing Rousey by the waist as if to say “is that all, idiot?” It appears the fight may have been called prematurely. She was clearly demanding more. Her “rope a dope”-like strategy wasn’t allowed to come to fruition, her brilliance sabotaged by a spastic referee, a Vegas high roller, a Dana White set-up? We’ll never know.

One thing we do know — the evidence is clear and unavoidable — Davis has earned her rematch. Like the great Ali before her, she’s poised to shake up the world.

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