28 Jun

The American Dream is not for everyone. Most people shut themselves out from the start. The types of people who just try to fit in and not be a loser don’t have a chance.  You gotta be a sick bastard to make it in this world.  It’s like a sports team or fighter who is playing not to lose; You often get your ass whipped and even if you do squeak out a win you’ll never run up the score.

But for us guys and girls who are aggressively going for ultimate victory and happiness in this lifetime, what the fuck are we working towards? The money? The cars? The sex? The pussy? The butthole?  Acceptance of shortcomings?   Relationship with god?

No! It’s none of those things, except maybe butthole. Lets get real, we all have rich friends and their families are usually more fucked up and miserable than anyone else. We’re too smart these days, we all know there is no winning in the money game. Even if you stack up a great deal of cash your risk of ruin is always lurking around the corner. Natural disasters, taxes, markets crashing, businesses crashing, hospital bills, millennial children, lawsuits, coke binges, gambling losses, broke family members asking for loans.


“Well what the fuck is the American Dream in 2014?!?!?!”

Don’t worry, as always I will bail you out of your mental confusion and turmoil. It’s what I do. When you first hear this, you may feel like you deserved a better answer with all this hype. But rest assured, this is what you want and need.

Guys, the light at the end of the tunnel, the American Dream, the promised land, is THE LAKE HOUSE.



Lake houses, done correctly, are a taste of heaven on earth.

Minimum Requirements:

1.) Pontoon Boat
2.) Speed Boat
3.) Medium to high end house on a large lake.
4.) Lots of bedrooms

If you can pass these requirements, you are golden. Every great child’s dream is to grow up and still have an outstanding time with all of their friends and family.  Lake houses are the perfect playing field for these dreams to be realized. I get emotional just thinking how beautiful the lake lifestyle is. You can take the most stressed out fuck from a busy city and plop him on a pontoon boat on a beautiful lake. Guarantee you he’s waving to every boat going by, having a blast with his friends, and feeling more inner peace without the assistance of drugs than ever before. Something phenomenal happens when you get to the lake. You are no longer the donkey working to achieve harmony and happiness, you are one with the harmony and happiness.  The lake lifestyle is the highest quality of life I have personally seen on this great planet.

So next time you are frustrated at your job, or have a lack of motivation to press forward in your life with conviction, just whisper the words, “lake house.”

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